


Marie's Strange Love

by Timegal25



Series: Timegal25's Solo Works [17]
Category: Original Work, Persona 4
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Retail, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lost Love, Nurses, Older Woman/Younger Woman, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timegal25/pseuds/Timegal25
Summary: Marie and Sayoko go through the strange parts of a new relationship, the pains of getting over loss and the just the weirdness of life in general.





	1. Marie's Strange Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone reading this, hope you have a merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays! This is a project that's a lot more personal to me as it's an idea that I want to make into a serious effort. A lot of stuff in this comes from personal events, moments, dreams, everything. I'll explain more after the story Hope you enjoy it!

Walking through the area, she was surprised she was alone. The long road ahead seemed totally devoid of life. This felt like the kind of place that would at least have a few cars drive by every once in a while. She knew that her home would be like that at night. It could be one in the morning, and there would still be at least one car that felt like it was speeding by. It was just her walking along the road as a thick mist set into the air.

She couldn’t make out much, but when she would wander to the right to look over the railings of the road she would see a whole forest of bone white trees. They all stood there in the mist, with so many seemingly reaching up and up to a point where she couldn’t even see them any more. Was there even a top to them?

She continued her walk, though it was more like she was sliding down the road due to the wetness of the mist slicking it up. It wasn’t like she would fall if she ran, more that she could easily slide down it to get further ahead. And as she did, she saw something. It was a house and a silo. They blended into the mist and white trees so well that they could be missed at some points.

When she got on their grounds, she went to the silo first. It felt almost ritualistic to do so. As if she were a kid at their friends house heading to their best friend’s room to start playing immediately. There wasn’t much to really say about it. Both the exterior and interior were gray bricks with a matching colored floor made of concrete. Even just walking into the thing, her footsteps echoed up into the top. Looking up, she didn’t see the metal top, just a pitch black darkness. It just stretched up and up, darker and darker. The more she looked, the more she expected a door to open up in the side of the silo and her mother or herself to poke their head in and dump their dirty clothes into the hamper.

After walking out, she headed towards the house. It was a two story one with a downstairs. It was oddly calming and she felt the need to walk into one of the side rooms on the first floor. It was to the right of the bathroom, a decently sized one with a small black dresser and a door in the back. Opening it would show the dirty clothes hamper. Most of the floor was covered in a brown carpet that had a pattern on it that couldn’t be described with words fully. In the middle of the floor was a strange snake like creature, made out of cardboard tubes and colored construction paper. It wasn’t fully a snake, but rather tubes all connected and curling like the creature would. It wasn’t moving, but looking at the front showed a red tape tongue and white sticky tape fangs. It’s shredded paper hair was parted when it reached the top of the tube, going in different directions.

Walking back out and heading for the stairs to the basement, she saw that the whole house had a feeling as if the white, cold mist was still in there. The walls had color to them, but..it was hard to match or place. She walked back to the entrance she came in, seeing the stairs right next to them and heading down.

The floor there was cold gray stone, or maybe it was concrete. Either way, it was cold no matter how one put it. There was no back wall, but rather and opening back into the cold and white woods. The cold breeze came in, making her shiver. She looked to the middle of the room, where there was a clear, plastic bin. It was filled 3/4ths of the way with water, with a folding lid. There was a girl inside. Her skin was pale, and her hair was an equally pale blonde. The girl was submerged as she quickly ran over, panicked and pulling the lid open as she shook.

The girl inside quickly sat up, emerging from the water and splashing some of it on the cold floor below. She took a deep gasp for air, looking ahead.

\---

Marie sat up in her bed, blinking a few times as she adjusted back to her surroundings. She was back in her apartment, and from the look of things, it was early morning. She heard the still going sound of her air humidifier. Humidifier? Purifier? She could never remember which was which. Both required water and both made her get to sleep easier. She took a gulp and regretted it. She had slept with her mouth open and now her throat was sore.

“Damn it…” She mumbled to herself. She rolled around in her bed, seeing that she had likely passed out but thankfully her stuff was still plugged in. ‘Cept for her laptop, but the screen on that was closed. She was curious to check the time, but the second she went on her tablet or her phone, the bright light from the thing would make her brain stop remembering the dream she had last night, or stop any creative free thought she had.

She laid back against her pillow, wasting a few minutes just trying to get comfortable again. The perfect pillow structure was so very hard to find for her. She couldn’t just take any pillow shape. She needed to find just the right one. She was picky at the stupidest things.

 After a short while, she finally said “Screw it.” and went on her phone. It was early 6 in the morning. Not the earliest she’s waken up, but still no 8 o clock. She checked her Discord, no one else was up and she hadn’t missed any messages. A few ‘missed’ texts from her mom but they were ones that she didn’t open in app thanks to notifications. No new gaming news, no new videos, nothing. It was just the same news from the same site she had visited again and again the night before out of sheer boredom. No new comments on her blog, nothing new on the ship tags on AO3 (damn rarepairs), nothing.

She was already too awake to go back to sleep, but didn’t have the energy to get out of bed yet. It would be a great effort to do so, and she didn’t want to leave the accumulated warmth yet. She scrolled through the short phone contacts list she had and considered giving Sayoko a call. But, she was probably still on the road at this point. No point in bothering her then when she’s just trying to eat.

She re-read the comments on her blog, and some of the stuff on AO3 again. She had a thing for reading the long responses to her poorly written garbage junk. She went into the photos and scrolled through a few. She looked like such an awkward mess in cosplay, not being able to pull off any of the poses correctly at all. She had the awkward smile in group shots down figgin’ pat. She saw a few of her and Sayoko on their date to the gardens, a few random ones of her mom and her cats, a pic of a ‘rawr’ portrait she saw at a crafts store she visited a few months back.

She looked at the videos she had recorded, the pain in her throat not being as noticeable now. She pressed play on one.

\---

“Hey.” She said, swinging the phone around a small park. “What are you doing out here?” She asked, pointing it towards one of the benches.

“Dunno. Just wanted to get some air.” A girl with pale blonde hair said, sitting on it, but awkwardly shifting around on it. “These things suck. How can people sit on these things…”

“Alice doesn’t know what we’re doing out here. Just two jackasses waiting time.” Marie said, pointing it at her face. It was an awkward angle to say the least. “I wanna ho-”

\---

The video cut off at that moment. Marie knew she wanted to get a hot dog from a nearby vendor. She would eat anything she could get her hands on when she was super hungry, especially when she wasn’t on her weekday meds.

She saw that some time had passed and she decided to call the nurse. She pulled the phone close to her ear as she moved around more in bed to get so fully warm as possible.

\---

Sayoko smiled as she listened to the theme of the morning local radio starting up. The morning tune was such a good way to start things off. She was a bit surprised to see her phone ring in the cup holder, but smiled when she saw who was calling. “You’re up early.” She said upon answering.

“O-oh, did I interrupt you during the middle of something?” Marie asked, sitting up and placing her back against the wall. She then quickly leaned forward as she felt how seemingly freezing cold the thing was.

“Nah, I’m driving to work. Not much really in the way. Got this on speaker anyways.” The nurse explained, smiling as she continued her drive.

“You think you can stop by on lunch break today?” The young woman asked, always nervous to do so. Her girlfriend was a nurse and here she was going ‘Duhhh can you stop by during lunch, me wanna suck on your face’.

“Maybe. We’ll see. I’m always called in to something right as my break ends. But maybe I’ll be able to start it a bit earlier. If so, I’ll visit you.” The older woman replied, still smiling. “Though, isn’t today the day of the week when your mom comes by to visit while she’s grocery shopping?”

“You’re right. If it’s a burden or anything, you don’t have to come.” Marie said, finally forcing herself out of bed. It took a lot of energy, but it was worth it. “I’ll see you later then.”

“You never know, I may surprise you. Definitely need a change in routine some time or another.” Sayoko said. “Love you.”

“Love you too, bye.”  
  
As she hung up, Sayoko thought about a lot of things. It was weird that she was talking like this to a girl half her age, but..she loved this girl. She saw an honest woman in Marie that needed affection. She helped fill some holes in Marie that she needed filled, and in turn Marie did the same to her. Though, Sayoko wasn’t fully ready to say what those holes were from yet. She was just another woman in her 40s dealing with the issues that women in their forties dealt with.

As she reached a stop light, she looked at some of the songs that Marie had put on her phone. It was quite the odd selection of music, but..she had asked about the kind of music that her girlfriend had liked. She scrolled through, finding one that she did find to be a guilty pleasure.

“How many shrimps do you have to eat, before you make your skin turn pink?”

\---

Marie filled up her cup again as she drank from it. It was helping the pain in her throat slightly. She

hated when she fell asleep from exhaustion. It was always when she wanted to stay up later that she passed out from it.

She undressed as she walked to the bathroom. She needed a shower. No shampoo today, just letting her body soak up the steam. She tossed her clothes in a small heap right outside the bathroom door as she looked at herself in the mirror. She could use a slight hair cut, but besides that, she was still the black haired green eyed girl that she had been her whole life. Still with sucky depression and stretch marks all over her arms from being such a lanky ass girl.

The bathroom’s lights were off, with only a small plug in light near the sink illuminating the room. Marie liked dark showers. For some reason it really appealed to her senses. Is this what a sensory deprivation tank was like? She always wanted to try one of those, but there weren’t any nearby. This would have to do.

She thought about a lot of things as she showered and washed her body. The Holidays were coming up, so that would be..something. It would be her first Christmas with a new girlfriend. Another one without Alice. This was new ground and she was kind of scared of it. She knew somehow she would fuck it up, like she always did. She always fucked things up.

\---

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She said over and over again as Sayoko made her a cup of tea. “I..I didn’t mean to make you feel so bad..”

“No, no. Don’t say that. It’s clear you still need time for things. I should be more helpful and say when it’s clear you’re getting overly anxious.” Sayoko replied, one of Marie’s own t-shirts on her at the moment. It both didn’t fit at all…yet it also did. “Here. Lemon tea will help calm your nerves.”

The young woman sipped it, her body still trembling as she wiped the dried tear spots from her cheeks. “I..I still like when you hold me close...” She explained, Sayoko hugging her.

“I know, I know. We…just need to work things out a little.” The nurse said, stroking her hair. “I really am sorry for not thinking about whether or not you wanting this was actually you want this.” She said, kissing her forehead.

“I love you…”

“I love you too, Marie.”

\---

The walk to work was early today. Marie thought about how she wanted to be one of the employees who was early to work, instead of being the ‘on time’ ones for once. She walked down the stairs past other apartment floors and into the lobby. “Morning Margaret.” She said, waving to the desk.

“Morning Marie.” Margaret replied, drinking from a water bottle. She looked like she had just come back from the workout room. “Good to see you taking the time to talk to me. You’ve been so busy these past few days. You really should take a breather one of these days.”

“This past week has been utter hell on me, so you know…there’s that. I’m just glad it’s almost over. I’m getting ready for the break and the holidays.” Marie explained, smiling. Margaret was always really good to her. Her whole family seemed a bit weird but in the good way. “I’ll try to get you a Christmas gift if you’re still here over break.”

“I will be, but you don’t need to waste money on me. Get a gift for your teachers or something, not the woman who takes your money.” The platinum blonde said, chuckling. “Tell your mom I said hi.”

“I will, and I will get you a gift, Marge!” Marie said, before running out while laughing. Margaret just chuckled, rolling her eyes.

A short while later and Marie was getting her work uniform on. Working for a super store like Junes was the kind of work experience that seemed to be predestined for her. She was still a bit early before she officially had to start working, so she went to the break room. Chie and Yukiko were already there, going through a few photos in a magazine.

“She’s gay.” Yukiko said, looking at a photo of a female CEO.

“What? Now I know you’re lying.” Chie said, brushing some of Yukiko’s hair out of the way. “How is Kirijo a lesbian?”

“She’s been spending a ton of time with that actress woman. And most female CEOS are either outwardly lesbian or it becomes found out years and years after they’re married.” Yukiko responded.

“I’m not trusting your gaydar ever again.” Chie said, stretching as she laid back.

“Let me see.” Marie said, leaning in and looking. “Oh, she’s def.”

“Told you! Told you!” Yukiko said, laughing as Chie chuckled.

“You two somehow wouldn’t know a lesbian if you were dating them.” Chie said, getting up. “I’m gonna go restock the sports stuff.” 

“Bowl cut is the fitness lesbian we all see in all the teen movies.” Marie said, taking her spot. She continued to flip through the magazine with Yukiko as they rated which other females celebrities and musicians were probably into girls in some way or another. 

A short while later and the rest of the usual workers that Marie hung out with showed up. The group that Marie hung out with were all friends. In the hang out in a large group sort of way. One of the guys in the pack was her long time friend, but besides that they mostly all hung out together and not one on one. Marie found that distinction to be important for people her age and she had no idea why. Friend distinctions could be odd. 

\---

“I’m saying maybe you should consider working with me at the bookstore.” Alice said to Marie, as they walked down the snow covered side walk. “It’s the kind of place that you would like.” The two approached the local grocery store. “You got the list?”

“Yeah.” Marie responded, pulling it out. “I do wanna work with you, and I’ve loved the idea of just being able to chill out around the shop. But my mom thinks it would be better if I worked somewhere else.” The two grabbed a cart and started walking around. “Shame you can’t make beef stroganoff without the beef. That broth that covers it so good.”

“I wouldn’t really call it a broth.” The blonde replied, grabbing a few bags of noodles. “It’s more of a…covering? Whenever I think of both, I think of pure soup liquids. And it sure isn’t that. Also you’re the only person who doesn’t eat the beef in beef stroganoff, you big baby!”

“It doesn’t taste good at all!” The goth shot back as they walked to the dairy section. “Do you want to spend the night at my place? Or will I be spending it at yours?” She asked, taking the cart as the blonde got a block of sharp cheddar. 

“I think I’ll be spending it at yours….hey, sorry that I’ve been really freaking out about the whole moving idea. It’s just such a big step and I’ve gotten so comfy with where we are, you know?” Alice side, kissing Marie. 

“Nah, it’s fine. I just thought of it more as a suggestion.” Marie kissed back, chuckling. “Come on, let’s get more cheese. It’s on sale and you never know.” 

“You telling me you’d eat a block of cheese cause you’re hungry?” 

“You wouldn’t?” 

“True.”

\---

Marie smiled as she walked up to her mom as she saw her shopping. 

“Oh, hello Marie. Are you trying to skip work again?” Izanami asked, smiling softly as she pushed her cart along. It was filled with various food and cooking items. “It’s only a few days away. How exciting.” She said, upon seeing her daughter look at the cart. 

“Man, you love going all out on cooking.” Marie said, following her. “Also, I’ve been working hard since I got here, I deserve a break with my mother.” 

“Hey hey, you can’t just leave me when it comes to putting away the snack cakes. I could easily want to steal a few boxes!” Yosuke said, walking up to Marie “O-oh, hey Izanami.” 

“Hello, Hanamura. How are you doing?” The older woman asked, smiling as he walked with the two.

“You know…good, I guess. Not really able to focus on sports or anything with all the studies and stuff. Essays are the end of me.” He sighed, scratching the back of his head as they continued their walk. 

“You know I’m always available if you need to talk to someone or de-stress.” Izanami explained, grabbing a few more food items. 

“Oh-” Marie started, but was cut off. She had a bit of an issue entering into a conversation already in progress. 

“Yeah, thanks…” Yosuke said, chuckling. “It can kinda suck, being flooded with so much stuff that you can’t really focus on the holidays. At least we get a lot of time off. Time I’ll probably spending working, but…you know.” 

“I do, I do. At least you’re gaining more and more experience for whatever comes next in life.” Marie’s mother said, smiling. 

“Oh, mom.” Marie finally got out, the two looking at her. “Can you maybe pick up a bottle of something for Margaret? I wanna get her a gift for Christmas. And thanks for being such a cool tenant.” 

“Why of course. She’s been such a great help to us. I’d be more than happy to show her my own thanks as well.” Izanami smiled more, walking ahead. “I’ll see you later sweetie.” She said, waving at her daughter before walking off. 

Yosuke softly nudged Marie in the side. “What?” He just smirked. “Oh, come on. I’d know if she was.” She rolled her eyes. “Get my mom out of your mind for bit. You gonna be free to hang out on New Years?” 

“I’m not sure about that this year, def wanna hang out with you.” He said, smiling. “Guess what I was able to buy with some of my built up bonus money.” 

“Yeah? What’s that?” She looked over at him and saw him smile. “Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. You’re finally gonna try it.”

“Up for giving it a try some time? I got the candies!” He sang back, laughing.

“Call me when it’s medicinal.” She replied, following him as they joined a few others who were working with a few Christmas items.

“Tell me if I’m crazy for getting mad at this.” Kanji asked, stroking a hand through his hair as he picked up a green cup. “This is a Christmas Vacation cup, right?” 

“Yup.” Rise said, sounding both bored and confused. 

“That is indeed a cup with a quote from the movie Christmas vacation on it.” Naoto added, mopping the floor. She was more taking glances up at the cup, being more focused on the work itself. 

“They use a quote from the movie, as well as picture of the actual cup from the movie!” Kanji said, seeming very…agitated by this. 

“...So?” Rise asked, putting a few things on shelves, before adjusting her brown hair. 

“Why have a picture of the actual cup on this cup?! It just reminds me that there’s an actual cup that I could get instead of this cheap junk!” He seemed rather…streamed about this. 

“You really don’t like joke gifts do you?” Rise asked, sighing. 

“Joke gifts can be bad if their joke just drops dead immediately.” Naoto said, continuing to mop. Rise just shook her head and got back to work. 

… 

A short time later and Marie and Sayoko were out in the food court, eating together. “So…do you wanna do something for Christmas?” I mean, if you aren’t busy.” Marie said, once again trying her best to not come off as demanding. 

“I really want to, but...usually I go to my sisters house to spend it with the rest of the family during the day. I can try to come at night though.” The nurse replied, taking a few fries. 

“Shame you have to work on Christmas Eve.” Marie said, sighing. 

“Better I work then than on Christmas day. Also…it feels nice to know that you’re helping people on a night like that. But, now I have you…so, there’s that too.” The older woman said, smiling as she rubbed Marie’s hair. 

“So…do you want anything specific for Christmas?” The younger woman asked, pulling out a small notepad. 

“Being with you is such a gift. I don’t need anything, I promise.” She replied, chuckling and checking the time. “I should be heading back soon. I will try my best to spend as much time as I can with on Christmas.” She got up, kissing Marie before heading off. 

“Heh…this feels so unreal.” Marie said, chuckling to herself as she finished up her meal. She still had some time left before she had to go back to work, so she decided that she would stop by somewhere important. 

\--- 

“So, tell me. What are you gonna be doing this Christmas?” Marie asked Alice as they finished up their shopping and carried the bags with them as they walked to the bus stop. 

“I wanna spend it with you, obviously.” The blonde replied as they took their seat. “It’s always such a long trip up to see my own folks, I think they wouldn’t mind if maybe just this once I either come early or spend New Years with them.” As she put her bag down to rest on the side, she dug around in her pocket to get bus money. “You’re closer anyways so I don’t need to worry about taking a cab or anything back home when it’s so late at night.” 

“You ever thought about trying to get something for the anxiety?” 

“It’s not that bad…and that stuff gets really, really expensive.” The blonde sighed but then kissed Marie. “I’ve got you. And with how it’s been so far, that’s all I need.” 

\--- 

Izanami watched the snow fall as she placed the groceries in her car. She always enjoyed working on meals for Christmas, or any Holidays. Since it was usually just her and Marie, there was no need to rush or panic to cook 500 meals for a family that probably wouldn’t even enjoy it in the first place. Marie had relatives, but they mostly came over to visit more at the start of the New Year. 

As she unpacked, she put a small bow on the bottle she bought, smiling at it. She would deliver it herself to Margaret to show her own personal thanks. As she got in the drivers seat and looked at the time, she realized where she needed to stop first before she could deliver her little gift. 

As she drove through the falling snow, seeing it cover so many trees and cars and buildings, it made her think about how isolating the season really could be at times. The sound of snow blowing in the wind, the thick blizzards and storms. It made her remember how lonely she felt during some of the worst moments in her life as a mother. 

She drove through the entrance gates and steered the car down the path that she had engraved in her memory at this point. As she stopped, she got out and walked through the snow as she approached the spot. 

Marie was standing there, crying to herself as she looked at the grave. She looked around ready to drop to her knees and Izanami knew that there were times where if someone didn’t come to get her or help her, she would just curl up and not move from the spot, probably wanting to join the one buried there. 

She walked up to her daughter and hugged her like she had done time, and time again. 

“It’s all my fault…I’m so sorry…” Marie sobbed, barely able to keep herself from just straight up bawling till she was blue in the face. 

“Don’t say that. Never say that. You didn’t cause this. I promise you.” Izanami replied, starting to tear up herself. “I miss her too, Marie. I know it wasn’t your fault. I promise.” She said, the two just holding each other close. No matter how long ago it had been, the pain always made it feel like it had just happened. 

They stayed there for a bit, letting out emotions and paying their respect. Izanami drove her daughter back to Junes and dropped her off. “If you wanna talk to me about anything, or just feel lonely, your old room is always there for you.” 

“Thanks mom. Thank you so much.” Marie said, smiling again. She always was the one to worry that she wasn’t showing her mom enough love and care. 

… 

After taking a quick stop to unload her groceries at home, Izanami took a short drive to the ‘Golden Days’ Apartments. They were a decent place to live for a person Marie’s age. It was somewhat connected to a line of chain hotels but that didn’t really mean much except slight discounts if someone lived there for a certain period of time. 

“Ah, hey there Nami.” Margaret said as she walked out to greet her guest. 

“This is a gift for you from me and Marie.” The mother said, pulling out and presenting the bottle as if it were a fine wine.

“Very nice. The kind I like too.” The other woman replied, smiling as she took it.

“It’s more pricey than the other brands so you know it’s good.” Izanami replied, chuckling as they walked to the back. “This is our way of thanking you for everything that you’ve done. Letting Marie stay here, being at her side during the harder moments…for being with me when she was…was..” She shook her head, sniffing back tears.

“I’ve known you for most of my life. You matter to me, Nami.” Margaret said, putting the drink down and pouring them both a cup of coffee. “I know you’re not staying the night, so no booze. Maybe if I see you at Christmas.” She chuckled, sitting back in her chair, the two taking the positions they had taken so many times before when it came to talking over coffee.

“Possibly, Possibly. I may drop in when picking up my daughter, but I wouldn’t want to intrude on family time. Of course, you’re always welcome to do the same.” The mother said, stroking a hand through her short and grey hair. It was still somehow youthful though, probably a blessing from the goddesses of the land. “You know, I really do appreciate everything you do. You’ve been so much like a second mother to Marie and she doesn’t even remember a lot of it.”

“I just want to help her, to help you. You deserve the best. You really do.” Margaret said, smiling as she sipped. She looked and saw that her free hand was softly rubbing hers. She smiled more at this.

“Perhaps the new year can lead to new relationships.” Izanami said, as she got up from her chair. “Or maybe we can finally move forwards in ours.”

“I’ll come over to your place Chistmas night.”

“We look forwards to it.”

\---

As everyone got changed to go home, Chie pulled out a few envelopes. “Got some bonus gift cards for all of you. Think of it as my gift to you all.”

“This is why having a hard working girlfriend is a great plus. She uses up a ton of her bonus money on gifts for you assholes!” Yukiko said, nuzzling her lover’s neck.

“You’re as much of an asshole as us!” Yosuke replied, getting a drink from a vending machine.

“I know! And that’s why we all get along so well!” The black haired girl replied, bursting into a fit of giggles. “I should have you thank you ‘bowlcut lesbian’ to her just to rub it in your face more.”

The group slowly started taking their cards and heading out. As Rise headed out to her car, Naoto ran after her. “R-rise, wait!”

“Hm?” Rise looked up at the other girl. “Naoto? You need something?”

“No, no…I was just wondering..since we’re both free from work for a short few days, would you like to do anything together? I’d like it if we could hang out just the two of us again…” Naoto nervously asked, her hands playing with her blue hair as she shook.

“Do you wanna get some food with me? I’ll pay.” Rise responded, smiling. “Did drive here? Bike here?”

“I walked. I prefer to get exercise since the place I am currently staying at it so nearby. A-also, I can pay! I am the one asking if you want to take time out of your own personal life to hang out with a..nerd like me.” The other girl said, blushing heavily as she ran to the other side of the car and got in.

“I like nerds. The one guy I knew was super obsessed with taking car of cats.” Rise said, closing the door. “You up for drive through and then maybe I don’t know…watching a movie at my place? Maybe you can show me that weird 9th circle dance I’ve seen you do.”

“My…how fast for things to be going. ” Naoto said, looking at her legs.

“It’s the holiday season, you’re a nerd, I’m a dork. Let’s have fun and try not to die young.” Rise said, giggling as she drove off.

Meanwhile, Yosuke and Marie walked down the sidewalk. “I’ll text you when I know if I’ll be free on New Years.” Yosuke said as he messed around with his phone, slipping on his head phones.

“I’d hate to be setting off fireworks all by myself.” Marie joked, them both heading towards the curb. “Also, be careful with where you put your new goods. You’re the kind of dumbass that would accidentally put it with real foods.”

“I know, I know. I know where to hide it, and what to do with it.” He responded. “See ya. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” She replied as they went in separate directions as they got to the curb. She walked back to her apartment and headed up to her place. There was a small note on the door. ‘Added some lights to your place. See you in 2 days! :) - Mom’. Marie smiled to herself at this as she entered in.  

There was a small tree set up near the TV with lights covering it. With all the lights of the room off, this was the only thing on with it’s glow giving off a warm vibe.

She set her jacket down as she walked to it’s glow, standing in front of it in silence as she just looked at it. She didn’t really respond or do much. She just watched it glow and took it all in. In those moments, watching it all by herself, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. It was like watching the birth of the universe itself, with all it’s major moments in life and evolution coming to her eyes. It was like when someone had to watch the rain fall on the bus ride to work. There was something so beautiful in it’s simplicity that it brought up so many emotions in her. The fact that she had found love once more, the fact that she was still alive and back in a healthy state. She had a job, had so many friends that she liked. She was crying again. But…not tears of sadness. They were ones of relief. Ones of happiness and tiredness after loss, and those of comfort and confusion and joy and every other emotion she could feel after everything. Ones that told her that she would keep going despite all that was wrong with her and all that had happened.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Sayoko. ‘I love you.’

\---

She found herself burst out from the art room as she ran down the hall and down the stairs. She still felt the hickies from the art teacher on her neck. Or were they bite marks? It didn’t mater. She kept running, going down one of the halls through a crowd of other students that a majority of were grumbling. She ran past the library and down another pack of stairs.

She took a right and rushed into what used to be the old cafeteria that was more just used a club area. The long bench like tables and drilled in chairs still remained while a few random people sat and talked among themselves.

She ran through a hallways lit by a yellow/orange/tan light past a glass showing off all kinds of pipes and valves and boilers. It led straight into the gym, where tons of people were doing their workouts and training. She just needed to get to the new cafeteria and she could leave out through that. Just be quick and don’t drag in here.

She ran straight ahead, bursting into a room full of lockers that seemed to stretch on and on. She was still running, so she put her hand down on the floor and used it to slide herself around and head right back out.

She was back in the gym, panting as a boy approached her. He had brown hair. “Need help?” He asked, looking at her.

“Yeah…where’s..the way out…” She asked, looking at him. It was Pit.

He pointed at the door right next to the locker rooms. “That way.”

“Thanks, Angel boy!” She said, before bolting once more before he could realize what she had called him. She ran into the new cafeteria. This somehow felt more like a lounge room than anything else. It had blue steel colored walls, a more circular design to it and a few vending machines on the same level as the door while the chairs were on a slightly lower level in the center. She ran through and out onto the campus lawn.

The lawn was so very wide, with a large glass building across from the school. It was a multi-floor office building, connecting to another one across the street. As she ran to it, she saw the patio of the cafe of the other building. It was baby blue and in a triangle shape, pointing up diagonally.

She ran in, dozens of people rushing to and fro while various food chains sold lunch to various workers and interns. She ran through the lobby and center to the elevators, taking the thing up to one of the top floors. She ran emerged into a cubicle, finding herself in two connected office rooms with the pale lights and phones constantly ringing. Clear glass windows all the way around, giving off a great view of the area. She ran through the two rooms as papers flew from stacks from her motion going past them. Thought one and then another as she reached a pair of doors that looked less like traditional doors and more like two fabric pin boards next to each other as she pulled them open.

She found herself in the middle of what looked like a class, with the room’s lights off and a projector on as a man on the right side of the room talked about AI. She had to sneak behind the top row of people, as it wrapped around the whole room. There was still a glass window, but it felt like the glass with tinted darker. The desks still had about 3 rows to them as she got to the other side, not being noticed as she entered into the next room.

There was just a finely crafted wooden desk in the room, made of clearly fine materials and wood as she walked to the window right behind the desk and looked out of it. She saw a small local neighborhood filled with trees that were dropping orange and yellow leaves. The whole place looked like it was right in the middle of fall while the rest of the world was in the middle of summer. No sign of who she was looking for.

She walked over to the window on the left, turning her head to look out the window and saw the cafe patio. There she was, sitting at a chair having a cup.

She turned around and headed back out, through the classrooms, through the office and headed straight for the elevator, which again was in a fabric pin board. As she got in, she realized this one was a service elevator as she headed back down into the lobby and ran out.

\---

As Marie got up, she could smell something cooking. It smelled like…eggs. It didn’t smell like eggs, it was eggs, why would she think that it smelled like- she shook her head and got up, walking to the kitchen. She saw her standing there as she cooked eggs over the stove. “…H…hey…”

“Morning.” Alice responded, turning her head and smiled at Marie. “You ok?”

“Y..yeah, just some rough sleep. I did notice you kept getting up last night.” The goth felt awkward in trying out what to say next. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just drank a lot last night, and you know.” It was clear Alice didn’t want to keep on the topic as she put what she was cooking on two plates. “It’s only Christmas eve…but I want you to try this.” She explained as she put down the meal. “It’s cheesy scrambled eggs with sausage and cooked peppers. Could have used burger meat but you were out of that.”

“Wow, you…really put in too much effort for a waste of space like me.” Marie said, taking a seat at the table.

“If I thought you were a waste, I wouldn’t be willing to spend Christmas with you.” The blonde replied as she giggled. Marie just looked at her, not eating much.

“What, you nervous about Christmas or something? I talked to my parents and they’re fine with the whole thing. I’ll be spending it with you.”

“A….alright.” Marie decided to try something. She pulled herself forward, waking back up in her bed. “Damn it…” She groaned. She hated when her mind would lie to her like that. She checked the time. Later than her normal wake up time. She didn’t have much of anything planned for the day, and she got everything that she really needed in terms of gifts and presents for everyone. She wouldn’t be doing much today. She laid back in bed, and closed her eyes. Sleeping in a little longer wasn’t a bad idea at the moment.

\---

Sayoko walked around the hospital as she was bringing a new supply of medications to another destination. She would be working late tonight and then get up early to go and drive an hour out to her sister’s place so that she could spend a few hours there and playing with her nieces and nephews and be chewed out for not finding anyone yet and then drive another hour back home and hopefully make it to Marie’s mother’s place for a bit.

As she walked down the corridors, she thought about how this year had been for her. Falling in love and growing a relationship with Marie was something she hadn’t expected…and she wasn’t sure how fully ready she was for it either.

As she brought the cart to her destination, she pulled out one of the forms that she knew she would have to fill out sooner or later if she wanted things to keep moving in her life. It would be one that probably led to at least one argument…but, it was for the best.

‘Merry Christmas Eve!’ She texted Marie, not seeing a response. She shrugged it off, she was probably busy with some last minute stuff.

Sayoko didn’t feel bad for loving the younger woman. She was an adult, she was smart, she could find her own voice at times. Sayoko was more worried about what could happen if she hurt Marie. She never wanted to, but…she feared that her having such power over a traumatized young woman could lead to her hurting her. She never wanted that. It was something she feared most. Marie was always the one that was apologizing for doing things that she couldn’t control. Sayoko probably put this pressure on her. She try her hardest to make things right.

\---

“Ah…now, this is the Christmas spirit.” Yukiko said as she dipped into the warm hot spring. She knew the times for the place in and out, so she always knew the optimal moment to come by and not have to worry about any other people being there.

“Being at a hot springs with no one else around is the Christmas spirit?” Chie asked, getting in next to her and resting her arms on the side. The steam from the air was like heaven to her.

“Mmhm! It’s the ultimate lesbian Christmas experience!”

“You say that about everything we do. There’s gotta be something that’s just a normal experience and not a ‘lesbian’ one.”

“Everything’s lesbian if you make it so.”Yukiko replied, slowly sinking down into the water as her long black hair stayed on top.

“Do you really think diving into the hot water is a good idea?” Chie asked, smirking as she watched her draw closer.

“I just wanted to get even more near your oh, so fine and fit body.” The other girl replied, winking as she saw her lover blush. “You need your massages to stay nice and strong. Also, your muscles can be so very, very sore at times~.”

“O-oh…that’s not a muscle!” Chie moaned out, trying her best to keep it down. “You really like keeping us just a few steps away from getting found out!” She whispered under her breath.

“Want me to stop, sweetie?” Yukiko asked, smiling at her.

“Don’t even act like I would.” Chie said before pulling her into a kiss.

\---

As the day grew darker, Rise and Naoto drove around looking at the Christmas light displays. “You know…you don’t have to do all this for me.” Naoto said, looking out her side of the car at the countless homes dressed up for the season.  

“Eh, not like I got anything better to do. I mostly kinda do my own thing during the holiday season. Finding someone to spend it with is new and nice. Do you wanna go home? I can drive you back.” The slightly older girl said, driving into an area full of the suburban homes with perfectly cut lawns and wide backyards and tons of open space in the back and sides.

“Rancho Rosa Estates.” Naoto red out as she saw the lights illuminating the small billboard at the front of the community. “And…no. I..would like very much if you know…we just kinda..drove around and did whatever these next few days.”

“Liking you more and more Nao.” Rise said, chuckling as they drove down the streets and looked out at the night scenery bathed in the strong glow of Christmas lights and projections. Driving through these lands felt as if one was driving through another world, the long spaces of open sky and land meeting like the horizon was always just inches away, the open land for farming and crops as well as just looking like there could easily be a desert there. It was a strange experience, but only in the way that the holiday season could bring to the table.  

As the blue haired girl looked out the passenger window, she saw in the upper floor of a house, a single dark purple light illuminating a room. Most of the other lights in the home seemed to be out with this one sticking out. As they drove by, she could see the bright glow of a tv, sticking out in the middle of this purple nothing. “…Huh.”

\---

Izanami smiled as she put down food for all her cats. She had a large number of them, and while they could be quite the drama queens, they were still so very precious and cute. She watched them eagerly eat at their food as she walked to the living room. As she walked, she passed by many pictures. Pictures that told a story without the need of words.

She smiled as she looked at a photo of a baby Marie being held by Margaret at the porch of her old place. Marie had quite the chubby cheeks back then which made her more adorable. She always seemed to get the right shots. She enjoyed seeing the beauty of the land and taking photos of it. It was always so right and beautiful to see the whole of creation.  

She saw another one, this time of herself and Margaret back when they lived more in farming country. It was a long ways back, but she always wanted to bring Marie to that area again to show her some of the real beauty that the south could bring.

She did feel sad that there weren’t pictures of her husband up, but it was understandable why. Sometimes things can happen. She still hoped that one day, Marie would see him again and hear his voice, but there were a lot of steps necessary for that to come true.

She looked at pictures of her and Margaret. Life was a funny thing. There were things that were looked down upon and there were the things that were temporary. She hoped that what was looked down upon would only be a temporary thing, that the decades and decade of being less in the open and keeping to certain communities was slowly no longer a worry. She didn’t know what kind of person attracted her. She knew who did though.

There was a knock at the door and she walked over, seeing her daughter out in the cold and dark, standing there. “H…hey. Mind if come a night early?” She asked, shaking a bit from the harsh cold.

“Of course, dear.” Izanami replied, pulling Marie in.

\---

She was in a giant field of green grass. It’s long and open meadows with such cool air in the breeze. She walked around, taking it all in. It was like an endless summer paradise, only minus the beaches. She didn’t really care much about that though at the moment.

She started to walk around, before jogging, then sprinting, and finally running. The green was so endless, no other land in sight. It was serene, it was alone, it was endless balanced land. As she ran forwards, she fell. It wasn’t a massive height or anything. She landed in more grass and got up. Somehow, the land she was on had stayed level with the rest of the land, but here was an alcove, with the land above not having any bumps or items to signify.

She saw black and gray bricks lining the wall as she walked in. There were boxes and boxes of things though she knew not what was inside them. She mostly just walked around the small area, a circular opening in the back that led in deeper.  She was curious as to what was in them, but she couldn’t find the power to move in. She walked closer and closer to it, yet the more she did the more distant it felt.

Then, it finally hit her what this was. This seemed to be the skeleton of a burned house. Somehow, this tiny home had taking residence into the land and also raised it. There was a strange chilling feeling now, as if she wasn’t meant to see any of this as the birds chirped and the winds blew.  

\---

“Can I open this one?” Marie asked, her eyes full of joy and excitement as she looked at the numerous gifts under the tree.

“You can wait a few more minutes for the coffee to be done.” Izanami said, chuckling as she stood by the pot.

“There’s so many of them! So many!” The little girl said, eagerly shifting from foot to foot as she ran around the living room area. She was trying to pick out which one to open first, the big ones or the small ones. She wanted to be strategic with this.

“Alright, you can open them.” Her mother said, taking a seat on the couch. Before she started, Marie suddenly perked up and ran to one of the gifts under the tree, grabbed it and ran back to her mother. “A gift for me?”

“I picked it out myself!” The young girl said, smiling from ear to ear.

“Let’s see what it is…” The older woman unwrapped her present and looked inside. ‘Best Mommy Ever!’ was written on a rather cute sweater. “I love it.” She said, before giving Marie a big hug. “I’m going to wear this as much as possible.” She kissed her daughter on the forehead before letting her run up to her gifts and happily cheer with each new one opened.

…

“You don’t want to open presents yet?” Izanami asked Marie as they both sat down on the couch, with their beverage of choice.

“I don’t know. It’s just that the gifts I got for everyone else are here too, and I’d rather wait to see how they like it.” Marie responded, taking a sip from her coco. The thing was filled with marshmallows but none of them were floating into her mouth, only staying at the sides.  

“Fair, fair. But…I do want you to open at least one gift before all others.” The older woman said as she got up and brought out a small wrapped gift and handed it to her.  

As Marie opened it up, her eyes widened as she saw that it was a collection of various photos that she had never seen before. Ones of her mom growing up, ones of herself as a very young baby, and ones of her in the lap of a man she didn’t recognize. Until she took a moment to think about things. “Is that…”

“That’s your father. I think we’re at a point where we can finally talk about him. And who he is. You…you could even try and visit him if you so wished. I won’t stop you.” Izanami said, weakly smiling at her daughter. Some of the other photos she originally had included had to be taken out because it was clear more time was needed.

“Well…if you’re gonna give me a present early, I’m gonna do the same.” Marie said, trying her best not to show the emotional tears in her eyes as she walked over to the tree and got one of her gifts. She walked over and handed it to her. She smiled as she watched her mom open it up and see what she got. ‘Still The Best Mommy Ever!’ “Picked it out myself.”

\---

“So…I know this is a bit rushed, but there’s one last gift I wanna give you.” Alice said to Marie as they stood outside admiring the snow as it fell.

“You’re not gonna get on one knee and ask me to marry you, are you? I’m not ready to start crying and say yes over and over again.” Marie responded, laughing.

“Nah, maybe later. This is much more important to me than marriage.” The blonde said, chuckling. “….I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?” The other girl asked, a bit confused. 

“Ready to move in to your place.” Alice explained, smiling.

“H-huh? But I thought-”

“I thought about it…if I wanna get over some anxiety, I have to move past those fears. I need to show that I’m growing as a person, you know? And…moving in with the woman I love, that’s huge.”

“You sure you wanna do this? I don’t want you to feel at all forced to do this you know. We can wait this out a bit longer.”

“I’m not moving in right away, but at the start of the new year, I’ll be ready. I really do love you a lot, Marie.”

“Love you too, Alice.”

\---

Sayoko smiled as she drank her eggnog with her sister, watching their cousins run around in the snow and playing. “Ah, this is nice. Though, I’m probably gonna be heading out soon.”

“Christmas with your new lover?” Her sister asked, looking at her. “You ever gonna tell us their name? Or bring them around here?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I know they won’t be the best received around here. It’s the fear of reception that keeps me from bringing them over.” The nurse replied, drinking more.

“Let me guess. You didn’t think the possible risks or consequences through.” Her sister watched her nod and rolled her eyes. “That’s your biggest fault. You jump into love so quickly. There’s fear of being alone and then there’s just paranoia. You can’t let the past dictate these choices for you.”

“I know…but, I really love them. I really honest to God do.”  Sayoko said, looking at her sibling with a look of honest desperation in her eyes.

“I believe you. Just…make sure that they do too, alright?” Her sister said, hugging her and watching as she went to go get her coat. “Let me at least see her first before anyone else.”

“How did you-”

“You only referred to her with general words. That at least implied something different to me.”

Sayoko laughed and stepped back out into the night. She didn’t feel tired. She felt eager.

\---

The night was going on as the warm hot food was set down on tables, various meals and snacks were served and all that was needed was for the others to come. “Man, you went overboard on it this time mom. Why’s that?” Marie asked, looking at it all as she was in more of her comfort clothes.

“Just a hunch that this Christmas might be a tad bit more packed than the past few.” Izanami explained, chuckling softly. There was then a knock on the door as Marie went to answer it.

“Knock Knock! It’s Auntie Liz come to spread the Christmas Cheer! Mazel tov!” Elizabeth said, happily waltzing into the room with a snack try in her arms. Her short, silver hair was covered in snow yet she moved like she didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘cold’. “And how are you, this Christmas night?” She asked Marie.

“G-good, Auntie Liz.” Marie said. She was always taken off guard by her ‘aunt’. She kept trying to prepare for it, but it always got her.

“Apologies for coming unannounced. Sister was rather insisting on coming to spend Christmas with her ‘future sister in-law’.” Theodore explained, politely bowing as he entered in following behing with a wrapped up dish in his hands. “I made the dessert.”

“The twins are out at a friends place for the night. I doubt they would do well in a more older person crowd.” Margret said, walking in with a few gifts in her hand. As well as various drinks. “Since this is a mostly adult get together, I thought why not?”

“I never said to not bring the booze.” Izanami said. Marie chuckled as everyone got so very comfy.

After a while longer, there was a knock, with Marie running to it. She embraced Sayoko the moment the door opened. “Merry Christmas to you too, sweetie.” The nurse said, kissing her forehead as she made her way in. “I see that I am the last one to arrive.”

“Late does not matter, as it still is Christmas! Drink and indulge yourself in the snacks and booze!” Liz called from the living room, music playing as she smiled.

“I think I’ll skip the strong stuff tonight. Just to be safe.” The nurse said as she placed the things she brought with her down. Marie looked so happy and eager to see her, and she liked that.

“Mind explaining the ‘future sister in-law’ title?” Izanami asked Margaret, looking at her as she blushed.

“Well…I think maybe my younger sister is jumping the gun just a bit, but…with how things are going, would you be up for it?” Margaret asked, looking at her and smiling.  

“...Which one of us should get on one knee and ask?” The other woman said, slyly smiling from ear to ear.

Meanwhile, Marie and Sayoko stood outside in the snow, watching it fall and enjoying it. They didn’t really say much as they didn’t know if anything was needed. This felt more like moments of quiet reflection and thoughts.

Their relationship still probably had a few more road bumps ahead that one of them or even both of them didn’t know about. There would be meltdowns and arguments, anger and sadness. But, that’s what a relationship was. It had faults, mistakes, things that could be fixed and things that couldn’t. That’s just how it all went.

Marie was gripping Sayoko’s hand, tightly. She didn’t notice it. She was just holding onto the woman she loved in her eyes. This amazing woman that did no wrong and never messed up. She was always the one that fucked it up. She was the reason Alice died. It was all her fault.

Sayoko’s breathing had increased as she watched the night sky. She remembered all her past dates and lovers, and how silent the room she was in would feel when they left. She thought about how when she looked at herself, she only saw a failure of a woman. How sad Marie’s face looked when she confessed, and how clear it was that she needed someone. She thought about how good it felt to get into bed with her and hold her close on that first date. The feel of another person against her, it made her feel so complete.

They both felt something inside them. Something that both calmed them and also worried them at points. Something that was so important to the both of them and their way of life

They both felt loved.


	2. A woman in white.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marie talks to an old friend. People come over for a house party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a while since my last real post. I'm sorry for anyone that looks forward to these and has to wait so long. It's just after the Christmas special, I think I hit burn out. It seems that this was the spark I needed to keep going, and hopefully that this is a sign of good things to come.

She found that her mother was mad at her again, angry that she wasn’t staying on top of things. She was, she swore to God that she was. “I’m doing everything I can!” She said, getting into another argument with her. She hated these.  

“You keep doing this! You can’t keep letting me down!” Her mother shouted at her, rage in her voice. She could feel her body shaking and trembling at this point. Her mother’s full on rage voice….nothing could truly ever calm her down at this point.

“M-mom, I’m sorry! I’ll do better, I promise! I promise!” She said, tears streaming down her face. She was doing her hardest to keep from raising her own voice, shouting back at her. When things got so very escalated, there was no point in trying to strike back or argue in her own favor. It was rather pointless and would only make her more mad.  

“I’m going out, you better get done with you need to get done when I get back, or else your punishment will be EVEN WORSE!” Her mother shouted, obviously enraged with things. She watched her walk out to her car and get in, slowly backing down the driveway and heading down the street. As she drove...the car was hit. Either she crashed into a tree…or a tree crashed down on her. It was so…hard to tell through the crying she was doing. She couldn’t leave the house to run out to her mother and help her as the paramedics took her and the car away, leaving her alone in the house as the day went on.

 Her whole body was shaking, so very heavily. It felt like it was this light electric shock kind of feeling, but it was all over her body. She was used to this feeling after getting into shouting fests with her mother, or as well as getting off anything intense. Was this the adrenalin running through her veins?

She walked from the front of the house, to the back of the house. She would always look out the window and onto the back streets. She would see the back yard and the back road, but no sign of her mother returning. She couldn’t call her at the moment, since she was in the hospital. As she walked back to the front, she could see the trees on the right side of the street.

One giant tree was on the right side of the mouth of the driveway, with another one being in the same position for the neighbors next door. The trash and recycling bins were outside. The sky was a clear blue, with not a single cloud in sight. But, it was still the off kind. One where she couldn’t use words to say what was wrong with it.

The next thing she knew, a bolt of lightening had hit the tree in the neighbor’s drive way, causing it to come crashing down. She laughed, or at least some one had, at the fact that the tree had just missed them. Only for another bolt to hit their own tree, causing it to come crashing down and sending the trash and recycling bins flying like cans, spilling their contents out over the lawn. It didn’t hit the house, but was just saying in the street.

She ran out, going to clean up the mess. She started picking up pieces of damp, flattened cardboard, when someone else came to help her. “Hey, you need some help?” A female voice asked as she turned her head to see. It was Yumi, from school. It felt like they hadn’t seen each other, one on one, in such a long while.Yumi started helping her, noticing how much she was shaking.

“M…my mom was in a car accident, and I haven’t heard from her since.” She explained, her body shaking once more as she noticed the tree in the road was gone. The clean up team for this must have been fast.

“I see. Well, I know what’ll cheer you up.” Yumi said, smiling while walking into the house. She quickly followed behind, and the next thing she knew…the place was full of people. It was a huge party, going on in her home. There were her classmates, as well as some of the other people from work. There were also people who she didn’t know. Those that would walk by, talking with others as she couldn’t see their face. She slowly made her way to the kitchen, looking outside but not seeing anyone. It was getting dark out, with the lights of the street lamps coming dark orange colored dots in the darkness.

She resumed the process of going from back to the front, front to back, while looking out the windows for any signs of her mother returning. Hours were passing, but still nothing.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” One person said. “You can just call her later.” Another one said. Being in the house, things were getting noisier and noisier. She couldn’t help but think about if this was more and more people coming in, or if everyone was just slowly migrating to one spot.  

It was late, so dark outside, with the occasional car passing by being just a string of lights Still no sign of her mother, coming back from the hospital. It was finally time to try calling her. She saw that the battery was getting low, so she needed to make this quick.

Her vision was blurring. Not like she was getting tired, but more like tears were welling up and making everything hard to see. All of the apps were now starting to look the same. She would end up in the wrong one, never being the phone app she wanted. “Take me back!” She would shout, trying to tap text that would say call or back. She would only end up in other settings, or modes of the apps, all the text bleeding together as her eyes remained full of tears. The text would the seemingly float around, like as if they were random items in water, just slowly drifting around. She just wanted to call her mom! That’s all!!

She looked outside the front again, seeing there was still debris from the crash. She could see what looked like a broken cellphone, but it didn’t look like the kind her mother used at all.

She was at a table, with about 5 or 6 other people there. It wasn’t really a table, but more a large and long chopping block, only minus the cut limes and citric juices. “What’s wrong?” An older woman asked, a friend of her mother.

“My mom was hit, and…I want to call and make sure she’s healing and not in serious condition.” She explained, feeling more tears welling up in her eyes. She was like a child, trying so hard to not just straight up call.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” The woman said, with the guys surrounding her nodding. “I can call her right now.” They explained.

“Thank you, thank you!”

The woman dialed, putting it on speaker. After ringing for a bit, something picked up. It was the automated answering machine lines again, but the voice this time sounded louder and deeper. It actually got her to jump. It sounded like how big red text on a black background looked. She then realized that they had called the home phone, and not the cell phone. “Oh, well I’m sure she’s perfectly fine. Maybe she’s just driving around to get out some stress.” The woman continued to say things, but she didn’t listen, looking out the front once more.

The street was gone, with it looking as if there were black stage curtains draped over everything.She could see in the corner that there were buildings, but they looked fake. Like the version of buildings see in plays, or as part of sets in children’s museums. She looked around for a bit, but no sign of any cars. “I can’t even kill myself right!” She shouted, finally bawling her eyes out. Either everyone just ignored her, or they all left since no one seemed to approach her. Her mother was most likely dead, and she died being angry and disappointed in her stupid, mistake of a daughter.  

As she looked out again, tears staining her eyes, she saw the curtain on left moving slightly. Someone was emerging from it. And the next thing she knew, a woman dressed in all white came running out. She had a young baby on her back, carrying it as they ran. It felt like things slowly when she looked at the woman’s face. It was indescribable, yet so very beautiful. Their movement was hard to put into words, but it was more than a traditional run. As they passed by, she could feel the energy to run outside and after them. She opened her mouth to call out to them, only for the car to slam into her from behind.

\---

Marie woke up with a jolt, dried tears on her cheeks and her eyes so close to watering. She was panting, her whole body feeling too heavy at the moment. She rolled onto her side, taking her phone and checking the time. It was still dark out, and it was almost 5 in the morning. “…damn it.” She sighed, still shaking a bit as she laid back.  

She hated when she couldn’t tell when something wasn’t real. It would be so obvious when she thought about it, but she would get so into it, that she wouldn’t be able to tell. Her emotions would treat it like it was a real thing. And she hated it. She needed something to do to get her mind off this, or at least talk to someone about it.  

She went to her phone, and scrolled down. Her eyes were still a bit blurry and adjusting to things, but she was so used to picking Sayoko’s cell number. She pressed the blurred saved contact and held it to her ear, hearing it ring for a bit. Shit, was this one of the days where she got to sleep in? After a bit, it was finally answered. “Hey…it’s me. Listen, sorry if I woke up up or interrupted something but…I had a really, really bad dream. I’m scared of telling my mom about it, and..I really trust you enough to tell you these things. Can…can we talk about it? Maybe…you can..stop by?”

“...Marie?” Yumi Ozawa asked, scratching the back of her head as she looked at the time. Why was she calling her at 5 in the morning?

Oh no. Oh, no. “U-uh….” Marie tried to find the right words to say. She had somehow scrolled down past the S section and went into the Y. How the hell did she do that?! Was this due to lack of sleep or her brain not being fully awake?!

“You ok, Marie? I mean…if you’re calling me, I guess not.” Yumi said, slowly getting out of bed. She was already awake, so why go back to sleep. It would just lead to the possibility of her going back to bed and missing some of the day. “Is this about a project we need to work on? Are you scared about failing?”

“N-no, listen, just…hang up and forget about this ok?! I didn’t mean to call, and…and…I’ll do anything to make sure you don’t tell anyone!” The tears were returning, as Marie’s body shook. Goddamn it, why was she the one that always failed?! She always overreacted to everything like a big baby, it was just a dream, you baby! You’re crying again, like when Sayoko slept with you in the nude. It was just a naked body, move on! Get over it! Just get-

“...Want me to come over?” The young actress asked, hearing her classmate just crying more and more. “Your place is so close, I can just walk.”

“...Yeah…any company would be really nice right now.” Marie sniffed, looking down as she got up. She walked to the couch.

“I’ll be there in like 5 minutes.” Yumi said, getting on her white sweater and jacket. This was odd for her. She knew Marie, though they didn’t really spend that much time together. Well, at least not since they were dumb little children. There was school projects where they were almost always put together, but that was more of a co-worker situation.

She got some drinks from the fridge and headed out, walking down the sidewalk to the apartment Marie was living in. The sky was still dark, but it was clearly shifting to blue. She had never really be up this early, but it felt good. She should do it more often to get in better training.

A short while later and the two were sat around Marie’s table, silently looking up into nothing. “So…you think your mom hates you?”

“No..no, it’s not that. I’m scared I’ll let her down again. That I’ll revert things back to a period in my life I never want to go through again. It’s always my fault, and I make things worse.” The goth explained, laying back in her seat and looking up.

“Are there any signs of that happening?” The other girl asked, looking at her.

“Not at the moment, but knowing me, probably. I always mess things up.”

“No, you don’t. You make mistakes. We all do.” Yumi explained, looking her in the eyes. “That fear of being seen as a mistake, a failure…I get it though. And, you know…I don’t see you as a failure. A failure doesn’t get a nice place like this.” She gave a smile, hoping it would do something.

“Heh, thanks. That’s all just some BS from a script of yours, right?” The goth asked, chuckling as she started to warm up.

“And if it is? I still wrote it, so I’d like to think it counts.” The actress said, smirking back at her. “And even if it was from a movie, it’d still count as uplifting!”

“Yeah, yeah, you lazy jackass.” Marie laughed, smiling more. Maybe it was just the fact that she was talking to someone, anyone really, after a nightmare..it made things slowly feel so much better for her. “Hey, listen. Sorry that I haven’t asked you to hang out as much with me. I really, really want to! I mean, who doesn’t like hanging out with girls, right?”

“Not as big of a deal to me. Sometimes, it just happens you know? People drift apart, but the memories still remain. Better than more bad memories than good.”

“Ok, now I know you pulled that from somewhere else.” The two started laugh at this, smiling as if they were stupid children. “But come on, one weekend, we’re doing something. Oh, I know! You can stand by my side when I get my nipples pierced!”

“You want to do that?!”

“Y-yeah! It looks so cool, and I want to surprise Sayoko with it. I’m just going for simple studs right now, but once they’ve adjusted, I’m totally gonna add in these super cool skull ones, and maybe even jewelry chains.” Marie said, before yawning. “Thanks for doing this, Yumi…I owe you, big time.” She said, closing her eyes and laying back.

“It’s nothing. You’d do the same for me. And…let me think about going with you for when it happens. I…really don’t get you sometimes.” Yumi was still smiling as she said this. As she watched Marie fall asleep, she thought about everything.

Sometimes, friendships really do drift apart. Whether it be to time, personal events, or even just a new blonde girl moving into the neighborhood. But, that doesn’t automatically mean things are over. After all, sometimes, a friend can be the most helpful at the most unexpected of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I woke up at 5 this morning, and started writing this. I got this all done in a day, thanks to the adrenaline of everything. When an idea is really fresh in my mind, I either just ignore it, or I write it. It felt good to write again, writing environments and interactions. It feels really, really good. Here's to the hope that I can get out some more stuff over these up coming days. 
> 
> As always, thanks for the comments and the support.


	3. Vortex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get really, really cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It snowed today, and that reminded me I had this thing around that I never posted. I have no idea whether or not I should put this before woman in white, or after. You make the call!

 

Marie watched the snow falling outside her window. It was amazing how over a short amount of time, her opinions on it could change so much. A few weeks ago, she saw snow as a sign of Christmas approaching, and the coming end of the year. There was so much potential that could come about in the new year, and so much to do in the lead up to Christmas. But both had now come and passed, and now the bitter cold and falling snow only represented harsh weather and bitterness. She sighed as she walked away from the windows, looking at her phone. Weather alerts reminded her that she shouldn’t be heading outside in this weather, and to be careful if on the road for any reason at all. Things were bad. She had no school or work to go to now, but also she could only really stay in her apartment. She sighed as she laid back on her couch, looking at a random spot at the wall. She started to reflect on things. Christmas went well, at least in her opinion, and so did New Years. She treated Sayoko well, and they spent a lot of Christmas night together, just...being a couple. They didn’t do anything wild, they just held each other close, and talked and talked and talked. 

She jumped slightly when she heard her phone ring. She had zoned out for quite a bit. It took her a few seconds to get adjusted back to reality, with the colors in the room seeming a bit more harsh due to the falling snow outside. She answered her phone. “Hello?” 

“Hey, it’s just me,” Margaret said, sitting in her living room. “I’m just calling to say that when you shower, don’t use the bathroom fan. And when you’re done with the shower, make sure the water drips out through the tub nozzle.” 

“Oh, right. Yeah, can def do that. Are things super cold for you down there?” Marie asked, getting up and looking around. 

“I’ve wrapped myself up in about seven layers of blankets  to make sure I don’t die the second I close my eyes.” The tennant said, chuckling to herself. “Just make sure that you keep warm too. And try not to use the sink too much. Don’t want the pipes freezing.” 

Marie nodded, though she wasn’t fully sure why. It wasn’t like Margaret could see her at the moment.  “Got it. I’ll keep safe.” She said, before hanging up. She started to walk to her bedroom, thinking that she could probably due for a nap. She wasn’t tired, like, at all. But, that didn’t mean that she couldn’t at least try to get some rest to pass the time away. As she got into her bed, she felt a strange sense of relief as the sheets pressed down on her. The weight to them, it made her feel safe. Made her feel so happy, and warm. She closed her eyes, falling into sleep more quickly than she expected. 

\---

She found herself in the passenger side of a car, slowly driving down dark roads. There was a small bit of lighting, but not much to see. The lights were weak, and orange. They flickered, and were seemingly above the car. They were perhaps on top of a wall, perhaps? 

“So you’re finally up.” Alice said, looking ahead at the road as she continued to drive. She would take turns, but mostly kept straight. “Sleep well?” 

“I guess….still kinda tired.” She said, resting her head against the window. She could see the source of the lights. They were slight, glowing orange flames. They rested atop the walls making the pathway the car was slowly making its way down. “Where are we headed?” 

“Dunno.” Alice said, making more seemingly random turns. “Just getting to a destination.” The blonde continued. They saw that they were on a long stretch of road, with a single right turn in the middle. 

“Turn here.” She said, as they approached it. Alice did as told, and they headed down this new path. The light from the flames were slowly dying out. The walls were glowing dark. “...No…” She said, looking through the window, trying to see if there were any turns they could take to get back. Alice slowly turned her head to face her, the glow from the flames dying out. Her eyes stuck out in the dark, as well as her teeth, slowly creeping across her face into a grin. She tried to pull herself up, trying so hard to lunge forwards. 

The vague outline of Alice’s face stuck out in the darkness. Looking right at her. 

\---

Marie jumped up from bed with a start. She was covered in sweat,and was gasping for air. Tears rolled down her eyes, but they weren’t the kind that came from sadness. They were the kind that came from emotional overload. She slowly walked to the living room, seeing the street lights out from the window. As she sat down on her couch, isolated in her apartment while the cold raged outside, she thought about what she had seen. The images were stuck in her head, destined to never leave her thoughts.

She had seen hell itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't obvious, this was written during the polar vortex and the 5 days I spent trapped in my place. It really felt like the color was sucked out of everything. I originally wanted this thing to go on for much longer, with Marie having a whole thing due to the isolation and little contact with the outside world. Though, if looking at my stuff isn't obvious enough, I'm a person who'll start an idea..and usually never finish it. I probably will return to this idea at some point though. Isolation and being trapped in a space or area for a long period is something I love. 
> 
> Sorry for the lack of writing in general. Depression, life and lack of motivation but overwhelming amount of ideas has been in the way. It's slowly coming back to me, but no promised dates for anything. As always, thanks for any support, comments, kudos or anything really that can help me grow this thing. You guys are the best.


	4. External

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A light blinks on and off on a tower.

She walked along the outside balcony. Was it a balcony? She never knew the right terms for any of these things. It was the walkway hotels would use, but when they were on the outside of the buildings. It was hard to talk about in words. She could hear the sounds of the birds and the breeze. There was also the slight hint of children playing and adults talking. She couldn’t really see much of that though, as she was more focused on walking through the place. She didn’t fully know why she was here, but walking around would probably help a bit.

The light streaming in came with the slight blockage of trees. The shadows of the leaves were reflected on the wall she walked past. They stretched out, long and wide. There was a feeling of home to all of it, as she kept walking. This wasn’t her home, but the sounds of nature with only the briefest hints of others was something that felt so recognizable.  She got to the end of the walkway, seeing it went into the building. The calm feeling of the beautiful day followed her as she went in, the natural light slowly fading but the hallways still being visible. There were tons of doors that lined the walls. They were all evenly spaced out, yet it still felt like some were placed right next to each other.

The lights from the ceiling flickered on, bathing everything in the glow of a lightbulb. It was the old kind, making everything look like a faded dark orange that only seemed to exist in the past and never really appeared naturally anymore. It fit this place well, with the walls covered in old and heavily aged wood. The floors creaked and groaned with every step she took, and parts of it were warped and sloping when they clearly were not meant to. This building had clearly seen better days.

She opened one of the doors, walking into a small home. There was an old radiator, covered in thick, white, chipping paint. A stove with a rather brown top and pictures taken with cameras that would probably be seen as collectors items today.  Why was she here? She wanted to walk in deeper...but she didn’t know this place. She wasn’t in the mood to be yelled at for breaking in. She closed the door and moved onto another one. She made sure to pick one that was farther down. Upon opening it, she was greeted with a room full of chairs and desks and tables, all stacked together in a pile. The bulb in the room gave off this red shower light glow, covering the room in its almost overwhelming heat. She stayed in it for a few seconds, the door closing behind her and showing off how truly small and cramped it was. It was an oddly comforting type of claustrophobic.

She opened the door up again after a few minutes and kept walking, heading right for a stairway and  going down. It led to an entrance. Wooden doors with clear glass windows on them. The outside looked calm, serene even. She opened the door, stepping out into the inviting sounds of a seemingly cool and calm summer day.

\---

Marie slowly opened her eyes. It was still dark outside, but a fading darkness. She saw Sayoko rolled over with her back facing her. Marie slowly got out of bed, with her body feeling anxious every time she moved the covers. She knew that she should just try to go back to sleep, but there was this feeling inside her letting her know that ‘Hey, you rarely get up at this time. Get up and do something!’. She slowly walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch.  Already she was regretting getting up. The lighting coming in from the outside was reminding her of being suck in her place for a few days during the vortex. This time however, she could really get out of the apartment anytime she wanted, and go anywhere. All she would need to do is leave a note for Sayoko.

She looked through her phone, seeing a few missed texts. Mostly just stuff from her co-worker friends talking about if anyone had lost a hat in the employee lounge. There was one sent directly to her from one of her fellow co-workers though. It was a photo of a seemingly empty field, with a ground level billboard standing out with lights illuminating it. ‘Rosa Estates’ it read, with the top half cut off. It showed happy families looking and pointing at well made houses in the background. Checking out the time..the thing was only sent like two hours ago. Marie was reluctant to hit the dial button...but she was just so...curious.

It took about one and a half rings for Rise to pick up. “Hey, you curious about this thing?” She asked, getting out from her car and walking up to the sign.

“Have you been in that spot all night? That’s how you get people to call on the police to shoot you.” Marie said, before sighing. “Why did you text me this? It’s not like we’re that close or anything.”

“It’s simple really,” Rise replied. “You’re into the weird and creepy stuff, and I’m a woman who doesn’t like sleeping in her own bed.  We were bound to intersect sooner or later.” She looked up at the board. Looking at the thing felt as if she was staring at a illogical object, even though it was just an estate land billboard, complete with lights at the bottom in case some late night drives ran into it. “Discovered this place last Christmas. The estates are the basic kind of middle class rich from what I can see. Never drive into it, too risky in terms of being watched. Anyways, this whole place feels like an anomaly.”

“How?” Marie asked.

“You aren’t supposed to know what makes something an anomaly or a implosion of a subculture. It just sort of happens. There’s the unknowing unease that you might have found something truly odd or surreal, ya know?”

“It’s late, you should head home and get some sleep. You’ll be so much better and less likely to somehow wind up in a strange dimension or something.” Marie said laughing,

“No fun.” Rise siad, heading back to her car and getting in, while driving off with music filling every corner  of the thing. She would have to return to this place another time, maybe with a friend or too. As she drove, she could see a large electrical tower in the distance, or at least, a tower of some sort. There was a blinking light on top, one that seemed so inviting to come closer to the area around it. Rise smiled, driving past. Who needed sleep in a bed where there was so much more cool stuff out there at night?

“You know, I do exist.” Sayoko said, kissing Marie on the cheek. “I’m always up for talking about anything,” She said, using her Nurse voice to control the situation. “Do you need some anxiety meds, or are you good?”

“O-oh, my bad…nah, I’m not really anxious. At least I don’t think that’s what this feeling is,” Marie explained, looking down a bit and blushing. “Just..can’t sleep really. Weird mind stuff playing about.”

“Understandable. I get it. Being a nurse can the best and the worst thing at times, leading to so many sleepless stretches.” The older woman explained while rubbing against her girlfriend. “And sometimes when I do sleep, it’s like an out of body experience. Or a nightmare that feels too damn real.”

“I’m always here for you.” The young college student said, her head on the other woman’s shoulder. The both nuzzled and hugged, two different women from two different eras. But they didn’t care. They just wanted the best for each other.

As they embraced, making love while night slowly became day, Marie suddenly broke away from it. “Oh my god, they’re called external apartments, obviously!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new post. A bit of a gift for myself honestly, as the 15th was my birthday. My gift was the hope and drive to write more stuff and post more. 
> 
> If you liked this, had any suggestions or ways to improve, please leave a comment. I value those on all my works, and especially on a project that is so important to me as this, every comment helps. Any support for me and my stuff helps a lot. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, here's to more to come!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one that I've wanted to do for a while. While other longer story ideas have come and gone, this is the one that really stuck with me, the one where I went 'I could turn this into something real if I wanted to', and I do. 
> 
> And yes, on here I do use Persona 4 characters instead of original ones but I do have two reasons for that. One, I am no good at thinking up new and original characters. When I start turning this whole thing into something more, I will change them. But I will keep Marie and Sayoko. Second, in all honesty..original stories and ideas on AO3 are usually swallowed up and forgotten easily. That's not a jab against the site or anyone on here, it's just a bit harder to get an original story in the hands of others to read and critique on here when this place is great for fandoms. 
> 
> I really tried to make all the dialogue feel like it was actual conversation and interactions. I took it from actual dialogue I've had with friends as well as events like mentioned before. Will there still be more strange and less realistic moments? Oh, yeah. It can be fun to add surreal elements at times. 
> 
> I really hope everyone reading this enjoys it. Please, I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this story and idea as a whole, as I want to grow from it. Even if this is the story I want to make, I still want to make the people reading it enjoy it to, or what's the point? 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you'll stick around for more! 
> 
> \- Timegal25


End file.
